So you've read the literature on HOS (homework overload syndrome) taken your children to the botanist, and yelled obscenities at your mirror. You think you have a problem and guess what. You do! It's called SOS. No, it is not a nautical term or the only word you know in Morse code. You have Stress Overload Syndrome.

SOS starts young, beginning around the time of birth, when you are suddenly bombarded with the demands of society and you make demands right back. You want food, you want mommy, you want to cry, you want it NOW! Instead of your parents giving you what you want, you get just about everything else first, and added to the frustration of being made to wait another five minutes, people insist on cooing at you and tickling limbs you aren't even aware of yet, and when you manage to whack them with that clenched fist over on your left, they laugh and say how cute you are! Come on, guy, I just his you in the nose!

As the years progress, SOS becomes easier to deal with. Mostly because you are bigger and it hurts more when you hit people. "Susie took my toy!" Whack. Susie runs out of the room crying, you get the Barney doll, promptly forget why you wanted it, and toss it aside in favor of Barbie.

Once puberty hits, SOS begins the maturation process as well. You still like to hit, but since you've reached the point where the hitting can do damage, you find ways to sublimate your frustrations. You play dodge ball. Wrestle. Volleyball. Slam your locker, bedroom door, car door, any door you can slam. You swear, because swearing is a way to vent. By the time you are graduating from High School, SOS is fairly strong.

And finally, as an adult, SOS is at it's peak. An it will remain at this peak until you either die, retire, or win the lottery, because stress doesn't go away. It worms its way into your breakfast cereal in the morning and finds it's way to your stomach by lunch, forcing you to go home early because of salmonella, and it makes your kids lose their lunch boxes 7.3 minutes before the bus comes, and SOS is there when your child is arrested for indecent exposure because he/she ran naked down Concord Ave. backwards screaming "Long live the Chloroplasts!" (see HOS).

Unfortunately, the recovery rate for SOS is very low, considering most people who are alive are either children, adolescents, or adults, and dying is not in fashion this millennium, so you are out of luck as to the cure. Ignorance is bliss, but we're not talking about ignorance.