Confection Considerations: Jell-O

     Jell-O has many mysterious properties that are relatively unknown to the general public. It is, however, common knowledge that Jell-O is resistant to freezing.

     Or so you thought.

     Perhaps it was a fluke, as the experiment (if it was truly an experiment at all) was never replicated, but one courageous young woman and her compatriots (AKA suite mates) at Brandeis University (not to be confused with, well, any other University) have discovered that Jell-O can, in fact, be frozen! (At least, cranberry-flavored Jell-O.)

     It has, of course, been speculated that the Jell-O in question, having been housed in a somewhat temperamental cubic mini-fridge, may have simply given up it its attempts to remain a delightfully gelatinous dessert, and entered into a cold-induced state of Jelchillius catalepticus, a psychotic state often seen in gelatinous materials. This claim, is, however, unfounded, seeing as there is no DSM-IV criteria for Jelchillius catalepticus diagnosis.

     Perhaps the more startling, and indeed ominous implications of Jell-O freezification is that partially defrosted Jell-O resembles a freshly harvested (and extremely bloody) human liver, possibly that of a child or otherwise vertically challenged individual.

     In order to test this hypothesis (if it was truly a hypothesis at all) the courageous young women and one of her cohorts (a just as courageous and just as young (well, a week older) young man) decided to "have a little fun", and proceeded usher the now rapidly liquefying Jell-O into a medical receptacle (zip lock freezer bag), labeled it as "Human Liver - child", and placed it strategically in a nearby parking lot.

     The results of this experiment (if it was truly an experiment) remain inconclusive, as the liv-Jell-O in question disappeared without a trace, and was not reported in any campus publication (which doesn't mean much) or any other publication, for that matter (which still doesn't mean much). Further experimentation, perhaps with better observation, was never undertaken, and most likely never will be.

     Despite the lack of any valid evidence a all, further speculation regarding frozen Jell-O has been undertaken by concerned members of the Brandeis Community (not to be confused with, well, never mind). these concerned parties have suggested that the freezification of Jell-O may in fact be well known within the black market. Illegal organ trade is quite profitable ( I wouldn't know really) and this remarkable property of Jell-O (if it really is a property of Jell-O at all) may be of considerable economic interest to those who traffic in internal human organs.

     Further research may one day be done to investigate the remarkable properties of Jell-O. In the meantime, just enjoy your wiggly jiggly gelatinous treat, but keep in mind that Jell-O (at least, cranberry Jell-O) may have some disturbing qualities, and you may not want your children to know, especially if they have learned about human anatomy in science class.